1 min read

* I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

* My wild oats have turned into prunes and All-bran.

* I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

* Funny, I don’t remember being absentminded.

* All reports are in – life actually is unfair.

* If all is not lost, where is it?

* It is easier to get older than to get wiser.

* It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

* If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

* When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” -Satchel Paige