As the different stages of life progress people become overwhelmingly busy. Their spouse, who once used to receive all of their partner’s attention, is now left out of the list of top priorities.
Priorities are meant to organize one’s life in order for them to focus on what really matters. When a spouse is left on the back burner they can become to feel unimportant or undervalued.
3 Ways to Implement Quality Time:
1. Undivided Attention- Quality time is not being in the same room as someone. watching TV, Netflix, or Hulu with them. For your
attention is what you are watching. Instead, it is giving your spouse all of your attention. You do not necessarily have to be starring into
their eyes and spilling all of your feelings. It can simply be enjoying an activity together. Anything you are doing while giving them your full
attention is quality time and an expression of love.
2. Sympathetic Conversation- Like words of affirmation, quality conversation consists of sharing your thoughts, feelings, values,
desires, needs, and etc. in a tender and undisturbed setting. Most women and some men crave their emotional connection with their
spouse. When someone, who needs quality time, does no receive it from their partner they become upset and say things such as “why do we
never have deep conversations?” This is a sign they are missing this love language in their life. What they are really trying to communicate
is their yearning for quality time with their partner.
3. Learning to Feel- Many people struggle with voicing their feelings for many different reasons. Most of the time, it is due to their
childhood training them to deny feelings and reveal only thoughts. However, in a relationship with quality time it is vital to learn how to express
how you really feel inside in a mature manner. This does not deem lashing out in anger or be irrationally upset as appropriate, but it allows for
spouses to express their desires in a safe place.
Putting God First
Above all, it is tremendous to focus on your spouse and continue to love and serve them. However, it is vital to ensure your relationship with God. For God, is first, others second, and ourselves last.
As it says in Proverbs 3:6, “in everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success”.
In Matthew 22:36-39, Jesus himself says “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and the greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself”.
It has been helpful to remind myself that just like we like to be a priority so does God. Continually being in prayer and devotion prompts our memory that he is King and come first in everything.