Do you have…
… that friend that you always gravitate toward because you know that he or she has amazing empathy and knows just the right things to say?
This person always knows how to put others at ease. Chances are , they are probably qualities of pastors, ministers, and youth group leaders at your church.
The good news is….you can learn the qualities that make them that way and help enlighten yourself.
Think about how you respond to different scenarios in your life. Stress is a great example. Process your actions and words from a different person’s perspective. Do you notice anything you do that is something that you may not have been aware of before, that someone else may see all the time. Do not place a judgment on what you are doing.
Rather, just be aware that you have the freedom to keep that habit or change it.
Are you very calm during stressful situations, or do you tend to have impulsive patterns? Are there certain things that you do that you would like to change?
Again, try not to judge yourself. Sometimes, too much self-regulation is not healthy as well. If you come up with some goals, just put them in positive statements.
For example: I have started to talk to people more, but I can do more to reach out to other people first instead of waiting for them to talk to me.
3. Internal Motivation
Try to think about where you are spending your time. Are you actually prioritizing it based on what you want to do, or are you prioritizing based on what you feel obligated to do. The more you spend your time on what you truly like, the happier you will feel.
One way to do this is to try to practice mirroring someone’s emotions. This will enable people to realize that you are actually engaged with them. In couples therapy, one spouse will sometimes be trained to feel what the other person is feeling, rather than how he or she perceives the other person
5. Social Skills
The last two go hand-in-hand. When you practice more with different types of people, you develop them more. Remember that it is ok to make mistakes. Sometimes, you have to take two steps back before going forward.
Having a knowledge of the biblical context of EQ is important in ministering to others appropriately. Check out this Biblical EQ website!
For me, reading this has made made me realize that often, I am too self-absorbed with my own insecurities, perfectionism, and worries to really fully immerse myself in the community around me. I am often on a survival mode, so although I know about the components of EQ, it is hard for me to demonstrate that awareness because my focus is elsewhere. I recognize now that if my ultimate goal is to glorify God, I need to have the balance included in improving EQ that reflects him.