Are you disappointed with your friendships? Do they tend to let you down? Do you think you put more work into them than your friends do? Well, I’ve found myself thinking similar thoughts not too long ago.
Sometimes the common denominator is you. Instead of worrying about how my friends were treating me I thought I should reflect on how I treat them. We can’t control what other people do, but we surely can control our words and actions. Someone has to be the one to take the first step.
12 Ways to be the Friend You Would Want
1. Be selfless-Going into a relationship being consumed with making yourself satisfied successfully ensures your unhappiness. When people see through your words and actions that you genuinely care about their wants and needs above your own is where true growth develops.
2. Be humble– Being a know-it-all does not win you too many friends. Being humble enough to not talk down to people like you are better than them. The willingness to admit when you are wrong or to ask for help reveals people like you are better than them. The willingness to admit when you are wrong or to ask for help reveals humility.
3. Put yourself in their shoes-When you put yourself in the other person’s shoes it is easier to view things from their perspective. Our judgment becomes clouded when all we see are our selfish desires. Looking at situations from other’s point-of-view allows us to be conscious of how we make them feel.
4. Be vulnerable-Being vulnerable is how we really get to know one another. Having a surface level relationship may be fun, but we need deep ones as well. This is where we really help each other grow and iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17)
5. Be transparent-Being transparent shows people that you aren’t being fake. You trust and love them enough to show them the real you.
6. Be forgiving-We should be quick to forgive and quick to forgive. Jesus forgives us of our sins and he is a perfect
God. Who are we to no forgive someone? However, after you forgive someone it is essential to completely forgive them. This means to not bring it up to make them feel bad, rather bury it in the past.
7. Love unconditionally-Loving them even when they do something horrible. You can still be mad at them, but unconditional love does not withhold love from people when they do not satisfy them.
8. Listen more than you talk-Everyone has that one friend who does not listen very well. Instead, they continually talk about themselves and don’t listen in order to get to know you. Listening shows that you really care about someone and want to know more about them and their life.
9. Be a giver, not just a taker-We also all know a person who after we hang out with we feel emotionally spent. Therefore, ensure that you contribute to the relationship and not just continually take from it. This entails being there for them and helping them with their problems.
10. Speak the truth with love-Real relationships should be able to speak the truth to each other to aid growth. Every time there is a truth spoken, it should be so with love. This lessens the blow. Saying something while you are angry, even if it is true, can be damaging instead of helpful. Saying things with love proves that you sincerely care for them and not just judging them.
11. Pray for them-The power of pray today is overwhelmingly underestimated. I myself underestimate it as well. God is a mighty and sovereign Creator who can do anything, why then should we undervalue praying. However, praying is more than just asking God for things. It is mostly to ensure our hearts are in the right place.