My father, Scott Felten, leads a marriage group with his wife, Barb, at Veritas Church. He was so kind as to share with us some knowledge about the levels of communication.
Second Level of Communication
Facts- It is raining.
The Bengals lost.
CCU had a snow day.
My car needs an oil change.
The kids need to get picked up at 7pm tonight.
I’m sleeping over a friend’s house.
At this level, we are really only expressing facts. There is a little risk here because they are the facts. We trade these facts when we are adjusting to life or accommodating another person. It may be little more than clichés, but it may be as much as ensuring things are known and things are not missed.
Think about when two people first meet – at a party, at work, at an event, at school – how do they discover about each other? The answer, facts.
What is your name?
What are you studying?
What do you want to do when you grow up?
Where do you work?
What kind of car do you drive?
How many kids do you have?
We need to know things about each other. Facts are a good and safe way to describe us. Facts are a good way for us to navigate responsibilities. What is expected of me from my parents, my fiancé, my friends, my professors, my employer.
But at this level of communication, we are not taking too many risks because we can control the facts that are out there available for them. Bottom line is that there is little risk of relational conflict at this level. The facts are the facts. You can’t get mad at me because I’m just stating the facts! You can take issue at the facts…. But not me!