2 min read

I asked my brother-in-law, Daniel Elmore, to share his wisdom about relationships and here is what he kindly wanted to share!

When you pose the question, “What is the most important ingredient to any relationship?”

You might get answers like:

  • love
  • respect
  • communication
  • honesty

But you might wonder which is the most important, and while I agree that all of these are all vital to any healthy relationship I don’t think that any of these is the most important. I think the most important ingredient to any relationship is hard work. You might think that I’m crazy, but let me walk through the logic of this.

Let’s talk about any relationship with a husband, wife or significant other. We’ve all had that same feeling in the beginning. The feeling of being “in love” has overcome us all. It’s given us drive to do amazing things for the one we love, to overcome any obstacle and get past any fight or any criticism from anyone else. This stage in a relationship is commonly known as the “honeymoon” stage.

While that feeling is amazingly strong, it always seems to fade over time. It might take a month, a year or even several years, but it always happens. And if you’re someone who thinks it doesn’t, then your in that stage right now.

So what do we do when the feeling fades?

Do we just go on without love? No of course not.

But that love comes from somewhere doesn’t it? Before the love you had for that person just flowed right out of you, but not anymore. Now you chose to love, even though you may not feel it all the time.

A mistake most people make is to think that a relationship is 50/50 meaning that it’s an equal contribution from both sides. And while there does need to be an equal contribution, 50/50 is the wrong way to look at it. Why would you only give 50% effort in a relationship? Any good, healthy relationship requires 100% effort from both sides. Any relationship can get better if both sides contribute equally and fully towards the other.