6 min read

Mark

Final Draft

Them : How to be like Jesus ?

Type essay : Compare & contrast essay

Topic : What is world problem do you want to solve ?

         The boredom motivate people to addicted something. when you are boring what would you like to do? It seem a lot of people like to play with smartphone because it’s convenient to take it. The smartphone will be useful or not, it’s depend on you. So i would like to talk about two different thing between bad thing with smartphone or good smartphone.

         Nowadays, The smartphone change society life. Everybody looks at their phone everywhere such on the bus, restaurant, before sleep, even in the restroom. It’s make less community each other. I would like to solve this problem. Instant, Do active or sport that you like, go to the gym, swimming, dancing or yoga, ect. It’s will make you in the good emotions then you won’t think about the phone. If you are still playing. Let’s tell someone or family to understand. They will tell you to how to solve the problem. In the Mark 1 It’s like a paralyzed man in the book who have a holy heart and got healed from Jesus. It’s like him said ( Mark 2 :17) “Healthy people don’t need a doctor. It’s the sick who need a doctor …”

    The Good thing with the smartphone, You can check the fashion and technology. You will get a new by click. In the Mark 1 Jesus’s follower want to listen speak from Jesus because no one can teach like him. He showed the spirit to people. It made amazing to them then it made a lot of people follow the him. He made a new fashion in that time.

       In the conclusion, When you are alone and boring that the smartphone will be a best time and a good friends. But when you are into social then you should to respect other people and put down your phone when you are in conversation or meeting. Don’t play all the time. The smartphone is a good advice. If you know how to use it and manage time to play.

 

Smartphone takeover life

Review by Phirinya

Them : How to be like Jesus ?

Type essay : Compare & contrast essay

Topic : What is world problem do you want to solve ?

  • Use repeat word and waste
  • It doesn’t link good with Jesus
  • Use some confuse sentence
  • Conclusion doesn’t link good with topic

        The boredom motivate people to addicted something. when you are boring what would you like to do? It seem a lot of people like to play with smartphone because you can keep the smartphone to everywhere and playing any time. You can follow the new fashion and technology by your phone. The smartphone will be useful if you know how to use it. So i would like to talk about two different thing between bad thing with smartphone or good smartphone.

         Nowadays, The smartphone change society life. Everybody looks at their phone everywhere such on the bus, restaurant, before sleep, even in the restroom. It’s make less community each other. I would like to solve this problem. Instant, let’s find active or sport that you like, go to the gym, swimming, dancing or yoga, ect. It’s will make you in the good emotions and don’t want to play phone. If you are still playing that you should to get some advice from other one. Let’s tell the family to understand with this. They might be make schedule for you to play. If you try to change it. You will have a brave heart. ?? It’s like a paralyzed man in the book who have a holy heart and got healed from Jesus. It’s like him said ( Mark 2 :17) “Healthy people don’t need a doctor. It’s the sick who need a doctor …”

    The different good thing ?? with the smartphone is people like to check the fashion and technology. They want to get something new and modern for socialize. It’s like Jesus’s follower want to listen preach from Jesus because no one can teach like him. He showed the spirit to people. It made amazing to them then it made a lot of people follow the him. He made a new fashion in that time.

       In the conclusion, The smartphone is a good advice. If you know how to use it and manage time to play. When you are alone and boring that the smartphone will be a best time and a good friends for you. But when you are with another people. You should to care about them and put down your phone when you are in conversation. Then you will have happiness in your life and have good relationship with friends.

 

First Draft

Them : How to be like Jesus ?

Type essay : Compare & contrast essay

Topic : What is world problem do you want to solve ?

    The boredom motivate people to addicted something. when you are boring what would you like to do? It seem a lot of people like to play with smartphone because you can keep the smartphone to everywhere and playing any time. You can follow the new fashion and technology by your phone. The smartphone will be useful if you know how to use it. So i would like to talk about two different thing between bad thing with smartphone or good smartphone.

         Nowadays, The smartphone change society life. Everybody looks at their phone everywhere such on the bus, restaurant, before sleep, even in the restroom. It’s make less community each other. I would like to solve this problem. Instant, let’s find active or sport that you like, go to the gym, swimming, dancing or yoga, ect. It’s will make you in the good emotions and don’t want to play phone. If you are still playing that you should to get some advice from other one. Let’s tell the family to understand with this. They might be make schedule for you to play. If you try to change it. You will have a brave heart. It’s like a paralyzed man in the book who have a holy heart and got healed from Jesus. It’s like him said ( Mark 2 :17) “Healthy people don’t need a doctor. It’s the sick who need a doctor …”

    The different good thing with the smartphone is people like to check the fashion and technology. They want to get something new and modern for socialize. It’s like Jesus’s follower want to listen preach from Jesus because no one can teach like him. He showed the spirit to people. It made amazing to them then it made a lot of people follow the him. He made a new fashion in that time.

       In the conclusion, The smartphone is a good advice. If you know how to use it and manage time to play. When you are alone and boring that the smartphone will be a best time and a good friends for you. But when you are with another people. You should to care about them and put down your phone when you are in conversation. Then you will have happiness in your life and have good relationship with friends.