10 min read

Final Draft

Topic: Studying abroad could open your Mind!!!

Types of essay: Persuasive essay

Presenter: Thippawan Tungsawat

Attending schools is an essential part of our life, and the place where to pursue our education is as equally important as pursuing it. These days, we could see many young people pursue their education in another country, and they have this choice for various reasons. As for me, I choose to study aboard because of the advantages international education provides, which I will illuminate in the following paragraphs.

First of all, I meet new people in a foreign country. Foreign people have culture, identity, and mind different from mine. I have discovered and learned many things from my foreign friends, for instance, their customs, traditions, home cuisines, and a lot more. Making foreign friends have definitely influenced my thoughts about life, people and the world. I am convinced that I could not get experience those things if I chose to study in my own country. Something that I believed “you can not move forward if you are not make a decision” like some people who are believe and follow Jesus ,who is the Son of God.

Secondly, studying aboard allows young people to practice independence, thus enabling them to mature quickly. Actually, going to a foreign institute mean living far away from family, sibling and close friends. Young people who are in such situation must be confronted with homesickness and loneliness but “Jesus will be with you forever.”(Matthew 28:20). Moreover, Jesus reminds us, “you must become like a child to enter the kingdom.”(Matthew 19: 13-15) Then they will have to overcome those feelings on their own. In my part, although this process may be difficult, this particular experience has eventually made me become independent and therefore a good training for me to develop emotional maturity.

Finally, learning in another country is not only about studying in your major but also about getting a great opportunity to acquire a second language. These days, international companies require job applicants to be bilingual. In my personal opinion, the choice of learning a second language in someone’s own country is limited. Basically, you do not need to speak a different language in your own country and probably nobody may not speak the new language that you are learning, for example studying aboard, is the key to learning a new language and gradually mastering it.

In conclusion, more young people decide to educate themselves outside their own country. As for me, my choice of studying aboard was base on the fact that learning in a foreign country provides me with a great chance to meet new people, to practice independence and develop emotion maturity, and to acquire a second language. In essence, I could say that I am happy with my decision to study aboard. I am convinced that studying aboard will give you more and more advantages, if you are make a decision to move forward.

Edited by Sirirat Yoocharoen

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Friend reviews:

Topic: Choose to attend schools or universities outside their own country

Types of essay: Persuasive essay

Presenter: Thippawan Tungsawat

Attending schools is an essential part of our life, and the place where to pursue our education is as equally important as pursuing it. These days, we could see many young people pursue their education in another country, and they have this choice for various reasons. As for me, I choose to study aboard because of the advantages international education provides, which I will illuminate in the following paragraphs.

First of all, I meet new people in a foreign country. Foreign people have culture, identity, and mind different from mine. I have discovered and learned many things from my foreign friends, for instance, their customs, traditions, home cuisines, and a lot more. Making foreign friends have definitely influenced my thoughts about life, people and the world. I am convinced that I could not get experience those things if I chose to study in my own country. Something that I believed “you can not move forward if you are not make a decision” like some people who are believe and follow Jesus ,who is the Son of God.

Secondly, studying aboard allows young people to practice independence, thus enabling them to mature quickly. Actually, going to a foreign institute mean living far away from family, sibling and close friends. Young people who are in such situation must be confronted with homesickness and loneliness but “Jesus will be with you forever.”(Matthew 28:20). Moreover, Jesus reminds us, “you must become like a child to enter the kingdom.”(Matthew 19: 13-15) Then they will have to overcome those feelings on their own. In my part, although this process may be difficult, this particular experience has eventually made me become independent and therefore a good training for me to develop emotional maturity.

Finally, learning in another country is not only about studying in your major but also about getting a great opportunity to acquire a second language. These days, international companies require job applicants to be bilingual. In my personal opinion, the choice of learning a second language in someone’s own country is limited. Basically, you do not need to speak a different language in your own country and probably nobody may not speak the new language that you are learning, for example studying aboard, is the key to learning a new language and gradually mastering it.

In conclusion, more young people decide to educate themselves outside their own country. As for me, my choice of studying aboard was base on the fact that learning in a foreign country provides me with a great chance to meet new people, to practice independence and develop emotion maturity, and to acquire a second language. In essence, I could say that I am happy with my decision to study aboard. I am convinced that studying aboard will give you more and more advantages, if you are make a decision to move forward.

Reviews:

You did a great job clearly understanding you show what  your mind want to do and I like when you pick the verse of Matthew 18 and 28 to support in your Cristian way but only the topic if I can suggest you It could be more interesting it you change it to The advantage of studying abroad or Study abroad will change your world

That is my idea but overall I really like your essay and hope you will study hard for your family and yourself.

by Sirirat Yoocharoen

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Rewrite

Topic: Choose to attend schools or universities outside their own country

Types of essay: Persuasive essay

Presenter: Thippawan Tungsawat

Attending schools is an essential part of our life, and the place where to pursue our education is as equally important as pursuing it. These days, we could see many young people pursue their education in another country, and they have this choice for various reasons. As for me, I choose to study aboard because of the advantages international education provides, which I will illuminate in the following paragraphs.

First of all, I meet new people in a foreign country. Foreign people have culture, identity, and mind different from mine. I have discovered and learned many things from my foreign friends, for instance, their customs, traditions, home cuisines, and a lot more. Making foreign friends have definitely influenced my thoughts about life, people and the world. I am convinced that I could not get experience those things if I chose to study in my own country. Something that I believed “you can not move forward if you are not make a decision” like some people who are believe and follow Jesus ,who is the Son of God.

Secondly, studying aboard allows young people to practice independence, thus enabling them to mature quickly. Actually, going to a foreign institute mean living far away from family, sibling and close friends. Young people who are in such situation must be confronted with homesickness and loneliness but “Jesus will be with you forever.”(Matthew 28:20). Moreover, Jesus reminds us, “you must become like a child to enter the kingdom.”(Matthew 19: 13-15) Then they will have to overcome those feelings on their own. In my part, although this process may be difficult, this particular experience has eventually made me become independent and therefore a good training for me to develop emotional maturity.

Finally, learning in another country is not only about studying in your major but also about getting a great opportunity to acquire a second language. These days, international companies require job applicants to be bilingual. In my personal opinion, the choice of learning a second language in someone’s own country is limited. Basically, you do not need to speak a different language in your own country and probably nobody may not speak the new language that you are learning, for example studying aboard, is the key to learning a new language and gradually mastering it.

In conclusion, more young people decide to educate themselves outside their own country. As for me, my choice of studying aboard was base on the fact that learning in a foreign country provides me with a great chance to meet new people, to practice independence and develop emotion maturity, and to acquire a second language. In essence, I could say that I am happy with my decision to study aboard. I am convinced that studying aboard will give you more and more advantages, if you are make a decision to move forward.

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First draft

Topic: Studying aboard

Attending schools is a necessary part of our life, and the place where to convince our education is as equally important as pursuing it. Nowadays, we could see many young people pursue their education in another country, and they have this choice for many reasons. In my opinion, I choose to study aboard because of the advantages international education provides, which I will explain in the following paragraphs.

Firstly, I propably meet new people in a foreign country. Foreign people have culture, identity, and mind different from mine. I have learned and gotten many things from my foreign friends, for instance, their customs, traditions, home cuisines, and a lot more. Making foreign friends have influenced my thoughts about life, people and the world. I am convinced that I could not get experience those things if I chose to study in my own country. I believed that I can not move forward if I am not make decision like some people who are believe in Jesus and follow him.

Secondly, studying aboard allowed young people to practice their life to live by their own, thus enabling them to grow quickly. Actually, going to a foreign institute mean living far away from family, sibling and close friends. Young people who are in the situation must be confronted with homesickness and loneliness. Jesus reminds us, “you must become like a child to enter the kingdom.” (Matthew 19: 13-15) and “Jesus will be with you forever.” (Matthew 28:20). Then they will have to overcome those feelings on their own. In my part, Although this process may be difficult, this particular experience has made me become adult and a good training for me to develop emotional maturity.

Finally, learning in another country is not only about studying in your major but also about getting a great opportunity to obtain a second language. However, international companies require job applicants to be bilingual. In my personal opinion, the choice of learning a second language in someone’s own country is limited. Basically, you do not need to speak a different language in your own country and probably nobody may not speak the new language that you are learning, for example studying aboard, is the key to learning a new language and gradually mastering it.

In conclusion, more young people decide to educate themselves outside their country. As for me, my choice of studying aboard was base on the reasons mentioned above that learning in a foreign country provides me with a great chance to meet new people, to practice my life to live alone and develop emotion maturity, and to obtain a second language. In essence, I could say that I am happy with my decision to study aboard. I am convinced that studying aboard will give you more and more advantages, if you are decision to move forward.