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Final draft

Topic : Who is my hero?

Cause and effect essay

Father is a good person who everyone in the world should love, such as me. My father gives me a life to be a human to face this beautiful world. He takes very good care and love me unconditionally.

My father makes me know many things in this world. For example, he makes me know how to live, how to keep the best strategy in each situation, how to live with other people.

I know that my father like to work and he has to work hard for our family.He provides the good education for his children as best as he can.

He told me that “I do not have anything to give except the knowledge that will be with you forever.”He is a great leader who I should imitate. He leads me to be a good person, especially for the honesty matters, He said, “Honesty is a basic qualification of a good person.” Now I am confident that I am honest person to other people.

I know that he loves me more than anyone else. He never hates me even though I have done a bad things.He always forgive me and teach me to go to the right way.Many times I get made at other people teach me how to forgive them. I  admire him because he is reasonable person. When I want to buy unnecessary stuff he will asked me “Are you sure to wasting money on this stuff and how often you will use?”So before I buy anything I will always think of his word.When I was graduated from university I think he very proud of me.I know he was looking forward to see my graduation day and when it come I am very appreciate to see that my father is happy.He is my inspiration to study.

Although my father is not that kind of a hero who can fly or wizard who cam recite everything but he is my hero because he is mean to be for me. I love him very much and I want to thank you him to give me a good life.

My father inspired me to write this essay.  He taught me doing everything in the good way like the God teach people. He is a good person that I want to be.

 

Friend review

Topic : Who is my hero?

Cause and effect essay

Some sentence not necessary

some sentence already mention and you repeat again

mention about Jesus only last sentence

Father is a good person who everyone in the world should love, such as me. My father gives me a life to be a human to face this beautiful world. He takes very good care and love me unconditionally.

When I was young, not only my mother took care of me but also my father brought me up similarly to my mother, who could do many things my mother could not.

My father makes me know many things in this world. For example, he makes me know how to live, how to keep the best strategy in each situation, how to live with other people.

I know that my father like to work and he has to work hard for our family.He provides the good education for his children as best as he can.

He told me that “I do not have anything to give except the knowledge that will be with you forever.”He is a great leader who I should imitate. He leads me to be a good person, especially for the honesty matters, He said, “Honesty is a basic qualification of a good person.” Now I am confident that I am honest person to other people.

I can sense his kindness he gives me since I was born. I know that he loves me more than anyone else. He never hates me even though I have done a bad things.He always forgive me and teach me to go to the right way. He taught me everything.Many times I get made at other people and I will not forgive them but my father teach me how to forgive them and told me to think about the good part of them.I  admire him because he is reasonable person. When I want to buy unnecessary stuff he will asked me “Are you sure to wasting money on this stuff and how often you will use?”So before I buy anything I will always think of his word.When I was graduated from university I think he very proud of me.I know he was looking forward to see my graduation day and when it come I am very appreciate to see that my father is happy.He is my inspiration to study.

Although my father is not that kind of a hero who can fly or wizard who cam recite everything but he is my hero because he is mean to be for me. I love him very much and I want to thank you him to give me a good life.

My father inspired me to write this essay.  He taught me doing everything in the good way like the God teach people. He is a good person that I want to be.

Review by Natthawan Piyapanee

 

2nd draft

Topic : Who is my hero?

Cause and effect essay

Father is a good person who everyone in the world should love, such as me. My father gives me a life to be a human to face this beautiful world. He takes very good care and love me unconditionally.

When I was young, not only my mother took care of me but also my father brought me up similarly to my mother, who could do many things my mother could not.

My father makes me know many things in this world. For example, he makes me know how to live, how to keep the best strategy in each situation, how to live with other people.

I know that my father like to work and he has to work hard for our family.He provides the good education for his children as best as he can.

He told me that “I do not have anything to give except the knowledge that will be with you forever.”He is a great leader who I should imitate. He leads me to be a good person, especially for the honesty matters, He said, “Honesty is a basic qualification of a good person.” Now I am confident that I am honest person to other people.

I can sense his kindness he gives me since I was born. I know that he loves me more than anyone else. He never hates me even though I have done a bad things.He always forgive me and teach me to go to the right way. He taught me everything.Many times I get made at other people and I will not forgive them but my father teach me how to forgive them and told me to think about the good part of them.I  admire him because he is reasonable person. When I want to buy unnecessary stuff he will asked me “Are you sure to wasting money on this stuff and how often you will use?”So before I buy anything I will always think of his word.When I was graduated from university I think he very proud of me.I know he was looking forward to see my graduation day and when it come I am very appreciate to see that my father is happy.He is my inspiration to study.

Although my father is not that kind of a hero who can fly or wizard who cam recite everything but he is my hero because he is mean to be for me. I love him very much and I want to thank you him to give me a good life.

My father inspired me to write this essay.  He taught me doing everything in the good way like the God teach people. He is a good person that I want to be.

 

First draft

Topic : Who is my hero?

Cause and effect essay

Father is a good person who everyone in the world should love, such as me. My father gives me a life to be a human to face this beautiful world. He takes very good care and love me unconditionally.

When I was young, not only my mother took care of me but also my father brought me up similarly to my mother, who could do many things my mother could not. He protected me from danger.

The instruction of my father makes me know many things in this world. For example, he makes me know how to live, how to keep the best strategy in each situation, how to live with other people.

I know that my father like to work and he has to work hard for our family.He provides the good education for his children as best as he can.

He told me that “I do not have anything to give except the knowledge that will be with you forever.”He is a great leader who I should imitate. He leads me to be a good person, especially for the honesty matters, He said, “Honesty is a basic qualification of a good person.” Now I am confident that I am honest person to other people.

Reflecting from my father’s behavior, I can sense his kindness he gives me since I was born. I know that he loves me more than anyone else. He never hates me even though I have done a bad things.He always forgive me and teach me to go to the right way. He taught me everything.Many times I get made at other people and I will not forgive them but my father teach me how to forgive them and told me to think about the good part of them.I  admire him because he is reasonable person. When I want to buy unnecessary stuff he will asked me “Are you sure to wasting money on this stuff and how often you will use?”So before I buy anything I will always think of his word.When I was graduated from university I think he very proud of me.I know he was looking forward to see my graduation day and when it come I am very appreciate to see that my father is happy.He is my inspiration to study.

Although my father is not that kind of a hero who can fly or wizard who cam recite everything but he is my hero because he is mean to be for me. I love him very much and I want to thank you him to give me a good life.

My father inspired me to write this essay.  He taught me doing everything in the good way like the God teach people. He is a good person that I want to be.