7 min read

 

Mark

final  Draft

Them : How to be like Jesus

Typed of essay : Describe essay

Topic : what is important to you ?

        My name is Suparadar Munsak. I grew up in small city in Thailand. I have one brother. He is older more than me 2 years. I was staying financial and banking. And he was staying management. We were stay in different city that time. But we came back home every weekend. When we have free time we like to play the guitar and sing a song. It was a good time. My brother was strong and smart. He always protect me from bad people. And he taught me how to be strong and live in this environment.      

      when we were in high school, There had a guy said petend to me. I was scared then i let him and i went to my brother. He was angry and he yelled to the guy. The guy was shocked and he got out from there. When others looks at my brother then their think my brother was so rude. As like Jesus (mark 3:4)  that people judge to him and that time he ask to the people, “which is lawful on the sabbath : to do good or to do evil to safe life os kill”. After high school. My brother changed himself a lot. He got into a bad environment. Their friend took him to played football gambling. After my family knew that we told him to dropped university and  move to new one in the capital. Then I wasn’t close with my brother anymore. Then i think about Jesus when he choose the good friend. After he felt sorry about bad thing We forgive him because he accepted everything that he did. And he promised us to did not again.

       In the present. I didn’t contact with my brother for long time cause we are difference time and we have to responsible our life. He has a job and his family to take care now. I hope he has a good family. He will be a good father too. I think he will teach his experience to his child. And how to be strong like him. I know I can’t be like him but I will be a good sister and I take care him in my way. We never say the word love each other cause we always fighting. This is our love style. In the past even he make a mistake. I will be support him cause we are family. And he is my best brother forever.

Frist Draft

Them : How to be like Jesus

Typed of essay : Describe essay

Topic : what is important to you ?

    My name is Suparadar Munsak. You can call me “Mink”. I grew up in small city in Thailand. I have one brother. He is older more than me 2 years. But I graduated before him 3 years. I was staying financial and banking at Phitsanulok university. And he was staying management in the capital. We were stay in different city that time. But we came back home every weekend. When we have free time we like to play the guitar and sing a song. It was a good time. My brother was strong and smart. He looks like a gangster. He always protect me from mean people. And he taught me how to be strong and live in this environment.      

      when we were in high school, we went to home by bus. There had a guy came to me and he told me to get out of the seat. I was scared then i let him sat it. My brother saw that. He was angry and he told him “ You wasn’t gentlemen” and gave the seat to my sister back. The guy was shocked and he got out from there. My brother told me “ I always beside of you.don’t be scared of anything”. He was nice to me that time. As like Jesus (mark 3:4)  that people judge to him and that time he ask to the people, “which is lawful on the sabbath : to do good or to do evil to safe life os kill”. When he was studying in Phitsanulok university. My brother changed himself a lot. He got into a bad environment. Their friend took him to played football gambling. After my family knew that we told him to dropped university and move to new one in the capital. Then I wasn’t close with my brother anymore. We forgive him because he accepted everything that he did. And he promised us to did not again. As Jesus went to help the girl who cheated her husband. She punished by people in the town.
       In the present. I didn’t contact with my brother for long time cause we are difference time and we have to responsible our life. He has a job and his family to take care now. I hope he has a good family. He will be a good father too. I think he will teach his experience to his child. And how to be strong like him. I know I can’t be like him but I will be a good sister and I take care him in my way. We never say the word love each other cause we always fighting. This is our love style. In the past even he make a mistake. I will be support him cause we are family. And he is my best brother forever.

 

Mark

Review by phirinya

Them : How to be like Jesus

Typed of essay : Describe essay

Topic :   what is important to you ?

 

  • It’s a lot of detill then you should to use the important thing

 

    My name is Suparadar Munsak. You can call me “Mink”. I grew up in small city in Thailand. I have one brother. He is older more than me 2 years. But I graduated before him 3 years. I was staying financial and banking at Phitsanulok university. And he was staying management in the capital. We were stay in different city that time. But we came back home every weekend. When we have free time we like to play the guitar and sing a song. It was a good time. My brother was strong and smart. He looks like a gangster. He always protect me from mean people. And he taught me how to be strong and live in this environment.      

      when we were in high school, we went to home by bus. There had a guy came to me and he told me to get out of the seat. I was scared then i let him sat it. My brother saw that. He was angry and he told him “ You wasn’t gentlemen” and gave the seat to my sister back. The guy was shocked and he got out from there. My brother told me “ I always beside of you.don’t be scared of anything”. He was nice to me that time. As like Jesus (mark 3:4)  that people judge to him and that time he ask to the people, “which is lawful on the sabbath : to do good or to do evil to safe life os kill”. When he was studying in Phitsanulok university. My brother changed himself a lot. He got into a bad environment. Their friend took him to played football gambling. After my family knew that we told him to dropped university and move to new one in the capital. Then I wasn’t close with my brother anymore. We forgive him because he accepted everything that he did. And he promised us to did not again. As Jesus went to help the girl who cheated her husband. She punished by people in the town.
       In the present. I didn’t contact with my brother for long time cause we are difference time and we have to responsible our life. He has a job and his family to take care now. I hope he has a good family. He will be a good father too. I think he will teach his experience to his child. And how to be strong like him. I know I can’t be like him but I will be a good sister and I take care him in my way. We never say the word love each other cause we always fighting. This is our love style. In the past even he make a mistake. I will be support him cause we are family. And he is my best brother forever.