11 min read

first draft

I have been experiencing for 25 years so far.
When I was a child, I did not go to kindergarten and went to a piano school. So there were not many friends.
There were only my friends, brother and sister.
There were no peer friends in the house.
When I was 7 years old, I moved to another area, but I did not know anyone around and no friends. A year later, I went to elementary school and my sister went to kindergarten. I went to school and then I liked playing with my friends.
My friends came to play at my house a lot.
Because there was a game machine at home.
I came to my house about twice a week.
Sometimes I went to the game room and played.
It was a game room mainly to play with friends.
At that time, I went to play near the school or near the house. As I entered junior high school, I was naturally separated from my elementary school friends. It took time to make a new friend. Since middle school is male and female, there are 3 men and 7 women, so my middle school friend could have made deep contact with them for 3 years. So far I have met and contacted my middle school friend. The man’s friendship seems to be really great. I can help you if you have a hard day or a hard day.
So when I was in junior high school, I was playing in the city or going to the karaoke room. And when I was on vacation, I went to play in the valley or ski. When I was a high school student, I realized that everyone was scattered and there were many real people and many people in meeting new people. I went to high school a little far. It took about 40 minutes by bus, and it took about 15 minutes to get to school. So it takes an hour. I was able to go to school safely at 7 o’clock at home.
I went to a vocational high school. There were a lot of things in high school. In the first grade, he was elected as a member of the book council and had various experiences. There are many things such as vocational la carte, civil engineering, forklift, automobile disassembly, combination, environment and so on.
I have experienced everything in the first grade and I will choose it during the second grade. I chose the Civil Engineering Department. But now that I think about it, I felt I made the wrong choice. If you choose to cook, you will have more knowledge of cooking and more experience. But I do not regret much. Because I made a choice. So when I was in high school, I had a love affair for the first time, got a junior, went to play late at night, and ate my father for the first time. And I learned to drink from my father’s house with my junior high school friends. Sometimes friends came to my house and ate together.
I went to university, but the university was a new world. The real school was big, there were many people, and there was a lot of overwork.
I went to a cookery department, but I was going to take a freshman, and I asked him to assemble it. If you are an oti mite, you will not be able to drink properly and drink a lot. Since I came to the army, there was no catching of the war, and I just played with each other and changed a lot. The system of teaching changed and the building changed so it was not good when we returned to adaptation. I had a lot of experience while going to college and doing alba, drinking and going to college. I got a job, but my social life was much harder than I thought. It was a company that the youngest man should be able to see. Well, there was a school boat. At first I started to work with them, sharing stories and helping each other.

revise

Father, I ate drunk.ㅡMy father learned a drink.
I learned to drink from my father’s house with my junior high school friends.
ㅡI learned to drink at my father’s house with my junior high school friends.

second draft

I have been experiencing for 25 years so far.
When I was a child, I did not go to kindergarten and went to a piano school. So there were not many friends.
There were only my friends, brother and sister.
There were no peer friends in the house.
When I was 7 years old, I moved to another area, but I did not know anyone around and no friends. A year later, I went to elementary school and my sister went to kindergarten. I went to school and then I liked playing with my friends.
My friends came to play at my house a lot.
Because there was a game machine at home.
I came to my house about twice a week.
Sometimes I went to the game room and played.
It was a game room mainly to play with friends.
At that time, I went to play near the school or near the house. As I entered junior high school, I was naturally separated from my elementary school friends. It took time to make a new friend. Since middle school is male and female, there are 3 men and 7 women, so my middle school friend could have made deep contact with them for 3 years.
So far I have met and contacted my middle school friend. The man’s friendship seems to be really great. I can help you if you have a hard day or a hard day.
I have been experiencing for 25 years so far.
When I was a child, I did not go to kindergarten and went to a piano school. So there were not many friends.
There were only my friends, brother and sister.
There were no peer friends in the house.
When I was 7 years old, I moved to another area, but I did not know anyone around and no friends. A year later, I went to elementary school and my sister went to kindergarten. I went to school and then I liked playing with my friends.
My friends came to play at my house a lot.
Because there was a game machine at home.
I came to my house about twice a week.
Sometimes I went to the game room and played.
It was a game room mainly to play with friends.
At that time, I went to play near the school or near the house. As I entered junior high school, I was naturally separated from my elementary school friends. It took time to make a new friend. Since middle school is male and female, there are 3 men and 7 women, so my middle school friend could have made deep contact with them for 3 years.
So far I have met and contacted my middle school friend. The man’s friendship seems to be really great. I can help you if you have a hard day or a hard day.
I went to university, but the university was a new world.
The real school was big, there were many people, and there was a lot of overwork.
I went to a cookery department, but I was going to take a freshman, and I asked him to assemble it. If you are an oti mite, you will not be able to drink properly and drink a lot. Since I came to the army, there was no catching of the war, and I just played with each other and changed a lot. The system of teaching changed and the building changed so it was not good when we returned to adaptation. I had a lot of experience while going to college and doing alba, drinking and going to college. I went into the club with my friends, but I went into the baking club.
One of my friends was president and I was in charge of the secretary. As I was late, I did not have many people. One year or so later, we retreated, and our juniors retreated and continued to keep the club. I got a job, but my social life was much harder than I thought. It was a company that the youngest man should be able to see. Well, there was a school boat. At first I started to work with them, sharing stories and helping each other.

final draft

I have been experiencing for 25 years so far.
When I was a child, I did not go to kindergarten and went to a piano school. So there were not many friends.
There were only my friends, brother and sister.
There were no peer friends in the house.
When I was 7 years old, I moved to another area, but I did not know anyone around and no friends. A year later, I went to elementary school and my sister went to kindergarten. I went to school and then I liked playing with my friends.
My friends came to play at my house a lot.
Because there was a game machine at home.
I came to my house about twice a week.
Sometimes I went to the game room and played.
It was a game room mainly to play with friends.
At that time, I went to play near the school or near the house. As I entered junior high school, I was naturally separated from my elementary school friends. It took time to make a new friend. Since middle school is male and female, there are 3 men and 7 women, so my middle school friend could have made deep contact with them for 3 years.
So far I have met and contacted my middle school friend. The man’s friendship seems to be really great. I can help you if you have a hard day or a hard day.
So when I was in junior high school, I was playing in the city or going to the karaoke room. And when I was on vacation, I went to play in the valley or ski. When I was a high school student, I realized that everyone was scattered and there were many real people and many people in meeting new people. I went to high school a little far. It took about 40 minutes by bus, and it took about 15 minutes to get to school. So it takes an hour. I was able to go to school safely at 7 o’clock at home.
I went to a vocational high school. There were a lot of things in high school. In the first grade, he was elected as a member of the book council and had various experiences. There are many things such as vocational la carte, civil engineering, forklift, automobile disassembly, combination, environment and so on.
I have experienced everything in the first grade and I will choose it during the second grade. I chose the Civil Engineering Department. But now that I think about it, I felt I made the wrong choice. If you choose to cook, you will have more knowledge of cooking and more experience. But I do not regret much. Because I made a choice. So, when I was in high school, I got a love affair for the first time, got a junior, went to play late at night, and learned my first dad’s drink. I learned to drink at my father’s house with my middle school students. Sometimes friends came to my house and ate together.
I enrolled in a university, but the real school was big, there were many people, and there was a lot of work.
I went to a cookery department, but I was going to take a freshman, and I asked him to assemble it. Oti, if you are empty, you can not drink properly and drink a lot. I did not even play on the day of the festival and I did the work. My grandmother played and said that our freshmen wanted to play but could not play and so it was unfortunate. Since I came to the army, there was no catching of the war, and I just played with each other and changed a lot. The system of teaching changed and the building changed so it was not good when we returned to adaptation. I had a lot of experience while going to college and doing alba, drinking and going to college. I went into the club with my friends, but I went into the baking club.
One of my friends was president and I was in charge of the secretary. As I was late, I did not have many people. One year or so later, we retreated, and our juniors retreated and continued to keep the club. I got a job, but my social life was much harder than I thought. It was a company that the youngest man should be able to see. Well, there was a school boat. At first I started to work with them, sharing stories and helping each other.
I was half-mooned and I was in good condition for another company and I came back to work. I was surprised to see that the environment was different and the freshmen were like my brother and my family. They worked together to help each other.

Final Exam Possible Score Kim, Sangwon
Formatting 10 o
Writing Process 20 10
Topic Choice 10 5
Grammar 10 5
Total 20